My Grandmother Linda

There are many people that have made an impact on my life. I know I could not say that there was just one potter’s hand working the clay that turned into who I’ve become. I am fortunate to have the most amazing grandmothers: Linda, Betty and Barb. I’ll write about just Linda for now.

She taught all of us to be compassionate. She had to quit school in her teens, to get married at 16 years old and start her journey as a mother of 3 (if you count me its 4). She managed to succeed with her determination and went on to own restaurants, and work diligently for others and make do with what she had, when she had to. She always turned something horrible looking into something nice. My grandparents purchased a 5^th wheel camper that had sat in some trees for 10 years, It looked more like swamp thing. A few weeks later, with lots of wash jobs and a can of paint with some new wood it was back to looking like a camper again. I still see it around town once in a while.

I remember the way she could do ANYTHING she set her mind to. She was at her best in any situation of emergency and very calm. If she walked into a place the people around were instantly at ease. That’s me too - I’m stubborn and unwilling to give up and I very rarely twist in the wind.

I am so proud of what she accomplished All this with less than a 9^th grade education. She was the strongest person I've ever known, but it is her tenderness that was amazing. She was left with her father at 7 years old to help raise 3 other kids. Her youngest sister Mary had gotten accidentally hit with a baseball bat causing a brain tumor that made her go blind and eventually caused her death. She was raised mostly motherless except for visits occasionally from her mother and from her half-sister Joyce. Her life started with growing up in poverty, with little food and no luxury.

As she was in her early 20’s her mother and step father were killed in an auto wreck. Which left her to also raise her two teen age step brothers in addition to her own children, and they were troubled boys. I don’t know how she did it. Many years after the accident, she still spoke of her mother always in glowing terms (even though I know they spent little time together), and you could still see the pain behind her eyes. She is now in a better place, even though she went on a head of us, she will also always be with us. Each of us that were close to her has a piece of her personality or traits to contribute to this world just by knowing her. She touched so many people and so many lives. She taught me so much. Some of the things I bring forward, that way she keeps on teaching people.

Holidays are there to be celebrated, and there's nothing wrong with making up holidays and going all out for them. Treat others with kindness and not with a harsh attitude, no matter who they think they are. Respect others and their opinions, even if you don't agree. “There are good things about all people”. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. They'll wash clean. when faced with a closed door, kick the damn thing down! Bloom where you are planted, Actions speak louder than words, serve others when you’re feeling selfish.

Never pass up the opportunity to use the bathroom or eat something. Never go to bed or part ways with anyone angry because you never know what may happen to them or you. Say "I love you," frequently but not casually. Appreciate others, especially elderly people - not everyone has someone. If they want to share a story, make sure to listen because it is something they need to share and something that may change your life. No matter how a body ages, the spirit stays forever young. Don't let anyone tell you what's best. You'll figure that out on your own.

The best thing of all she taught me: Find your own peace within. And, don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Retrospection

I find it had to believe that my youngest son will be celebrating his 19th Birthday this Friday. I was feeling all sentimental while going through some old photos of my boys and thought you just might enjoy these darling photos. I remember how every year, Auntie Nicki would take the day off work, bake a special home-made cake, decorate it, buy a fantastic gift and drive down and spend the whole day with us. Oh how excited we would all be. We would count down the days in anticipation of her visit! On Keith's 5th Birthday Auntie Nicki made a fabulous "barn cake". Keith was so amazed and proud, as you can see from the photos.

    

That barn cake was so cool, he wasn't even thinking
about the presents!





"I'm 5 now, and I have a Barn Cake!"



However, the next year Aunti Nicki arrived with a "Pony cake". Keith couldn't contain his emotion of dissatisfaction, because the cake wasn't a "Barn cake". I can remember how embarassed I felt. Trying to explain to Keith how much effort and love was put into that cake! I think I was more upset than Keith that day, while trying to teach him about gratitude. 

Looking back, 13 years ago, that look on Keith's face makes me laugh and laugh. It just goes to show that you can never completely predict what your kids are going to say or do. Sorry Nick, I thought the Pony cake was way better than the barn cake!

Anyhow, take a moment to enjoy the photos and reflect back to a much simpler time.

 Everybody always made Birthday's so special for my boys!



Kyle's First Birthday 1989



Keith's Second Birthday 1993



Kyle's 5 1/2th Birthday!

Look at my Birthday moneeeeey!



That's one BIG WISH!



I'm 10 and I'm cool!

   
 

 

  

 Just wondering......Now that your kids are all grown.......do all you Mom's wish you could have a do-ova?



Go back in time to when your kids were small?  Even if for just a a short time? It used to seem like my kids would never grow up. But looking back today, I would give anything to be back there again, that is..........knowing what I know now!
 

Auntie Tammy, Keith, and Grandma June
9/17/97



And that is, Life is too short, too precious and you only get one shot at it.





What do you pray for?

Amongst the hatred, wars, deception, envy, starvation, neglect, immorality, inequality, disease, fear, intolerance and greed for starters........

In this crazy mixed up world, what do "you" pray for?

 

Do you pray for
peace

health

hope

understanding

direction

compassion

enlightenment

safety

purpose

courage

justice

guidance

patience

tolerance

strength

          companionship           

validation

 forgiveness

wisdom

serenity

freedom

time

others

Sitting at a stoplight, I snapped this photo, due to curiosity.....
I later saw the news report of how he had lost a loved one to a fatal shooting, earlier that day.

No matter what you are praying for, it all comes down to us seeking help from our higher power. Us looking elsewhere for a solution. A very wise person said, "In prayer, be specific, God doesn't always give you what you ask for, he gives you what he thinks you need".   I remember hearing that many times throughout my childhood and into my adult life.  "God works in mysterious ways," I would also hear. As a child, I had a tough time trying to wrap my immature brain around the concept. Sometimes when I pray I can feel like no one is listening, like it's a waste of time. There are other times when I don't feel like praying because I'm just so frustrated with the way things are going, or not going. Sometimes I do find relief in turning my troubles over to my higher power.

  

 

Looking back, I'm reminded of a time in my mid twenties, when I was going through a difficult time. My first pregnancy resulted in a misscarriage.  I was trying to understand why and cope with all the overwhelming feelings of sadness, and disappointment associated with the loss. It was such an ubrupt and painful end to what should have been amongst the most beautiful  events in my life. So many hopes and dreams had vanished. I will never forget the most beautiful necklace my nephew, (who was 4 years old at the time) made for me. Knowing just how sad I was, I'm sure he just wanted to cheer up his "Aunt Sal".

My little nephew had carefully strung some large, round, pink, plastic beads on some fishing line and proudly presented it to me. I still have the pink necklace. I keep in in my jewelery box, and to this day, almost a quarter of a century later, I can remember how his concern for me, helped me to feel better.  It made me feel like I wasn't dealing with the heartache alone. Compassion can be so powerful. 

Another thing this wise person told me is, "We are often most thankful for the things we didn't say". This is a huge statement. Once you say something, once you utter the words.....they can never be taken back.  It's too late, you've said it. From that point on, depending on what is said, the words will haunt you, and may never be forgotten. You can not change what was said, and disrespect can spread like wildfire. Is it then that you need to pray for forgiveness, patience, understanding and tolerance?

The same wise person also said, "It is very important, and don't forget to always give thanks". It is so easy to be busy and when something great goes your way for yourself or someone else, you forget to give thanks. Speaking of giving thanks, I give thanks to God for having the wise person in my life. The person who said all these wise things, is my dear  Mother June. Over a half a century ago, she studied under a very wise old Irish Catholic Priest. This priest inspired her and guided her to understand his Christian teachings. He provided her with a strong foundation from which she would draw from, to guide and comfort her family with prayer.